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The Recurring Dreams: Part One.

Dream One: Trousers
I stand alone. I walk in my black smart shoes with a pensive hush, in a field fresh with short yet subtly sharp grass. Nothing else surrounds me besides a tall, aging tree, full of half dying leaves, but still strong and sturdy. I do not wonder why I am alone. I do not even consider the thought; the feeling seems normal, and quite comfortable. Everything is quiet. I feel like a living ghost.

Grey clouds loom overhead, though my eyes are still able to view intermittent clear blue sky in various patches; they are powerful, but too minimal to allow the sun to force its way through. The gust of a cool autumn wind leaves goosebumps upon my skin, and a slight chill, but nothing to phase me in any way. I wear a long, white, short sleeved cotton t-shirt; the fabric hangs down to just above my ankles, almost like a draped curtain. It protects my tired legs; even though I wear clean, white underwear, I am without trousers. My legs feel the breeze.

A pair of black trousers - my trousers, rest above me, high at the top of a tree; an incredible product of nature, which I am too small to reach, and is too large to climb. Every now and again, I find a metallic ladder, or a sharp long branch which has eroded and fallen from the tree. I aim for my trousers - reaching, stretching, even shouting at the wind to blow them down, but to no avail. I should search for other means to cover my legs - but I don't; all I want are trousers, my trousers - the ones atop of this giant, irritating, beautiful tree.

I am still alone. I continue to consider no one else, in order to help me reach my goal. Perhaps I do not believe they can. Perhaps I do not believe at all. This cannot be true, however, for even though I never succeed, I also never give up...


Dream Two: Rucksack
I am on a bus, headed towards the gym, I am eager to workout, but feel a little tired nonetheless. Sometimes I am traveling to school, headed towards my secondary classes; even though I am, in the dream, a fully grown man, who left school many years previous. It is dark, and it must be the afternoon of a winter which makes it feel like early evening. I am sure it has just finished raining.

Even though I am alone, there are other people around me, as I aim for my destination. Yet I cannot remember seeing, hearing or even remembering a single one of them; I never see another face or have another conversation, beyond with myself. This doesn't feel odd, it only seems usual, and empty.

Each differing rucksack I carry, contains my gym gear, or my school books. Once I arrive at the destination of the gym/school, my stomach drops, as the cold realization dawns on me; I have left my bag and all my belongings inside of them - on the bus. I know the bus has driven away long into its journey, and I am too cynical to believe I will hold my items of use ever again. Sometimes I chase the bus, in a vein hope I may catch it. Most times, I simply swear at myself, for being so stupid as to allow this loss to happen - then wonder what it was which distracted me enough to make the error; I never come to any conclusion.

Regardless, aware and accepting of the reality of my mistakes, I attempt to configure ways to both train, or join my class for study; I grow more and more agitated, feel lonelier by the moment, and, never seem to reach either vicinity. The only times in which I ever do, they are barely five minutes away from closing for the night. I made the journey; tired, missing all the tools I needed, and melancholic from so much easily avoided effort I personally created. The caretakers carry the keys to lock up the main doors, and he has forgotten me. I am alone, yet still in the building...

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Every time I awake, I accept I may never understand why these dreams continue to repeat on me.
Then, I fall asleep - one more time...

Lee.

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