There has always been a portion of me, which has always felt a small desire, to throw a fat middle finger to all the general bullshit of humanity, then travel, alone, to a small, heated wooden house in the wintry mountains - and spend the next five years of my life there. Just me, me alone, and a German Shepherd puppy, who I would name only after I met him - as I would need to see his eyes, in order to tell me the answer.
I would grow myself a Jim Morrison beard, and let the hair on my head run wild like a rampant Ivy tree, as I immersed myself in writing as many books about this crazy circus we call life, I could possibly muster. I would reject a society I had come to see as somewhat predictable and redundant, and live alone as a human, with only my thoughts as company, while raising my baby Dog as my buddy - with me for life, no matter what.
I would also bring along a collection of items for the time frame, including:
* A large collection of tinned food, sustainable meat, and an unending supply of P.G Tips tea bags.
* My laptop and an electricity generator; as a writing tool, avenue of films and entertainment, and a means of maintaining minimal contact with the outside world - just enough to render my sanity in tact.
* About 100 books which I have always wanted to, but never read; War And Peace, The Brothers Karamazov, and all the other deeply intellectual literature, which I could never discuss with anyone outside of my own head, as examples.
* A German and Japanese language learning book. It is still a lifetime ambition to become fluently bilingual, and this would be the perfect opportunity to do so.
* Around 1000 bottles of whiskey and vodka, to simply get pissed. Everyone in this life needs at least one vice - as sex and drugs are off the menu, I would have to suffice myself with alcoholic spirits.
* An acoustic guitar - music would be therapy, and would pass the time quite nicely. Plus, I could play at all hours, and no one would hear a single beat of my wonderful playing, and terrible singing.
* A Rubik's cube, a 1,000,000 piece jigsaw puzzle (if they exist), and a set of boxing gloves and punching bag. I doubt I could train like Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV, but I wouldn't wish to remain physically stagnant.
* And finally, a Dartboard; because I like throwing Darts.
I could probably discover so much this way, but also lose out from the direct experience of all kinds of people. Then again, as different as everybody is in their reaction, deep down, we are all the same in desire. So perhaps half a decade in my wooden house could be quite beneficial; as long as I allowed it to be.
In choosing this life, there would likely be two potential outcomes, once the five year period is over; One, I go so deep inside my own mind and soul, that I end up writing a bunch of works of pure brilliance - and in doing so, find the person who I truly am. Or two, I completely lose myself, and go mad. Spouting gibberish about the New World Order, and bizarre conspiracy theories, whilst smelling of all kinds of pungent aromas; it would be worth the risk.
Of course, I am highly unlikely to ever do this. There are far too may aspects of life, and people, I would miss, as well as responsibilities I don't know I would have the courage to leave behind. But I wonder, if one day, should all circumstances make this a possibility, and my journey decided it is a feasible option - who knows?
I have always wanted to grow a Jim Morrison beard...