There is a scant possibility that in the next five to ten years of my life, I could slowly happen to lose my mind, to a degree in which the ways and means in which I see the world will perhaps be considered as too obscure to fit into any standard accepted form of idea. This doesn't mean I will be changing my name to Chicken George, or joining the cult/religion/pyramid scheme of Scientology. What it does mean is that time may well render me as somebody deemed insane. And am writing this as a preemptive disclaimer to such accusations.
The perception of this comes from the idea that I simply do not see this world in a way which the majority of people do. I love this planet - I love this life; how can anybody not? It is so varied, rich and immensely convoluted, that it has always felt to me like a circus which nobody has been able to organize properly - even though the lion tamers, tigers, clowns and elephants, are all waiting for their turn to dance for the masses.
This is just a metaphor, and, life is whatever you see it to be.
But what is insanity anyway? To me insanity is seeing men in their 50's wearing football shirts with the names of boys in their 20's on the back - putting their entire validation modes upon people they will never even meet. It is an entire cinema remaining silent, as none of them believe they have a social right to tell some noisy knob-head kids to keep it down. It is watching guys try to develop rapport and attraction with a woman by talking about data-cables while kissing their arse - ignoring every last aspect of the female emotional drive. It is watching generations repeat the ignorance of those which existed above their own, while passing it downward to those below them. It is knee-jerk reactionaries reading tabloid papers and believing every ounce of bullshit designed to propagate hate and fear, in order to sell more newspapers. It is accepting truth with question, conforming to every standard belief system and idea, and bowing to the pressure of the masses - as if some unquestionable law book of life was written by a monotheistic, omnipotent figure or creation.
I understand that human evolution never progressed with thought of the mind in any form of construct - hunters hunted, nurturers nurtured - a pretty simple plan for a pretty simple people. And that the pressure in humanity to conform to the masses, or risk the fear of being ostracized and... the greatest true fear of all humanity - alone. But we have been building our modern world for over 10,000 years now. An inception in a generation of great thinkers, is surely only so far away?
The world needs more free thinkers and radicals who are considered somewhat nuts. Not psychotics who cause others emotional or physical harm, or those who crack from the pressures of life to embark upon an existence of manic street preaching or walking around in the same clothes carrying shopping bags (See my Bagman blog), but souls who see the circus of life in purely independent terms. I personally connect with those viewed as off the wall in much greater depth than anyone else. Not people who act and dress and appear different purely, so others think they are (I feel a little sorry for those who do this, but still send them some love for trying), but the genuine single-minded. I would rather hang with somebody who believed that they were once a cat in a previous life, than some boring barstad who allows the Daily Mail do their thinking for them.
I know this blog itself may come across as a little odd to some. But I believe in my own personal view that self-awareness is the greatest barometer as a prevention tool of losing your mind. So as long as I remain knowledgeable that some people may consider me to be a little crazy, then I am not really crazy at all.
I ask you to embrace your own ideas - I know deep down we all have them, and it is hard in this world to openly express them. But, unless your independent ideas are of any harm to other members of the species - why should you keep them locked away? When somebody trusts you, they will tell you all sorts of incredible and original thoughts about life that they have within themselves... just make sure you keep them with you, it is not very nice to tell others that which you have been told in secrecy.
The older I get, the more I find myself caring less and less for convention. Structure is a good rule of design to regulate the world and all its amazing ideals and inanimate objects of living, as well as withholding anarchy and mass hysteria. But there is no reason that i have to think as others want me to think, to act as society tells me to act, or to adhere and submit to global truths designed by other human beings. I love people - humans are amazing, wonderful and fascinating creatures, but I am not willing to let anybody, anywhere, ever, do my thinking and construction of belief and idea for me. My brain is my own, and I protect it like it were the Fort Knox of neurology. And if doing such a thing makes me insane? Then that is exactly what I am!
And perhaps, it is the one truly great thing I can take from the family I come from. In that hardly anybody I am related to is not full or original, independent thought. Of course, I don't happen to agree with it all, but than again... if I did, that would be boring anyway...
And I leave you all with one simple yet random question...
What is the boldest action in your life, you have ever undertaken?